.....because I've seen some of them and they look like they can fight.
All of the hullabaloo about people being surprised that NFL players have behavior management issues aside, the Vikings star player is out for this game while he gets his legal woes under control. I'm sure these instances of domestic violence and child abuse call for a greater discussion about things we should have been doing all along, our shock and surprise at the vastness of the issue, and of course, Roger Goodell's perfected "do as I say not as I do" approach to solving NFL public relations shtstorms. But its a time to discuss football.
(PS, Saints fans with a memory are simply doing the long blink at Goodell after all this "I didn't know" crap because of his exact line to Sean Payton, "If you didn't know, you should have known". Bet you didn't see that one coming back to bite you in the ass...)
I feel like everyone feels uncomfortable making jokes about the Vikings right now because of what's going on. I also think that people are hiding behind the previous statement because they can't remember anyone else on the Vikings team. Sentence #2 is applicable to me. I cannot recall without the help of google who is on that team. I know it doesn't feel like any sort of rematch like it did in years past though. I understand that we're 0-2 right now, and yes its upsetting but I feel like if the Saints win this game everyone's just going to be like well duh they didn't have AP playing or well its about time.
One thing I can say about the Saints is that Gandalf better get his shit together and lead our defense. I don't know if some (insert Lord of the Rings reference here) is preventing you from executing your wizardry powers, but get on the damn ball man. It was nice enough that Payton bought a crap load of that guys jerseys to help his daughter. Its those things that remind me why I'm a Saints fan. There was no PR that needed to be done on the Saints behalf, there was no public to-do about it, it was just done. I appreciate stuff like that. But after that we didn't need to let them walk down the freaking field and win the game! Breesus Christ!
I don't know why we ever let Sproles go. He's been kicking ass and taking names on my fantasy team. Still disappointed about that....Hopefully the usual suspects can get their act together for the home opener and the home crowd will give the team the boost they need. If I get a chance later when the dictator is awake, I'll take a picture of him in his new Brees jersey - bless you boys, welcome back to the Dome, and GEAUX SAINTS!
Sunday, September 21, 2014
Sunday, September 14, 2014
Cleveland Browns: A "professional" American Football Franchise
First of all the Browns mascot is freaking frightening. As someone who has an unnaturally elevated concern regarding elves of any kind, the Cleveland Brown as I am assuming it's call sign is looks quite suspect. Take a look for yourself:
See what I mean? In pure Creep-tastic Chucky-Doll-like fashion this thing's name - I shit you not - is Chomps. I can't even think about what chomping, elves, and the color brown have to do with each other enough to necessitate and explain a mascot.
In other news, it's important to first note that despite drafting someone who is okay with the name "Johnny Football", the Browns have been known to pull a few surprises with the Saints in the past few years. I think its because they have the same natural reaction that anyone does regarding the Cleveland Browns, that being, "Oh ok, should be an easy 60 minutes". And sometimes as we find out, people are wrong. They can win games. Against good teams. So its best not to underestimate their elven-like ways and go in knowing the enemy. The short, creepy, oddly named, pointy-shoed enemy....
Speaking of odd names, a roster review would produce a player who's first name is Barkevious. A Louisiana gentleman (explains the name) graduated from LSU and seems to be the only Barkevious google-able (at least for the first half page I scrolled down). He looks pretty diesel so I'm guessing we'll be seeing this guy make some plays. I look forward to hearing the announcers attempt to pronounce his name. Buuut I also look forward to Ingram and Colston getting past him so easily they could swear he prepped for a KY wrestling match and not an NFL football game. Josh Gordon won't be an issue since he got suspended by the Commish for 10 games regarding some drug use something or other. Shoulda just hit his girlfriend......He'd have been back in time for the game assuming that there wasn't video of it obtained by TMZ! Like I wish the Saints could have used the same excuse Goodell is using now which is basically the equivalent of the Clinton Defense of, "Evidence? I....I didn't know that existed, but now that I know that it does, my lack of knowledge of such evidence equates to be basically not knowing about this situation at all so..... here we are, lets move on and act like this never happened, I did the right thing eventually which should mean that I did the right thing in the first place, k thxbye, go America".
The QB sitch is a dude named Hoyer from Michigan State, no idea who he is. Second runner up is Manziel which according to Shenanihanigan Junior will only play if Hoyer gets injured. So that's the Browns.
Aaaand on to the Saints -
Our depth chart is freaking bonkers. For our running backs, we've got 4 deep - third in line is PT. THIRD. If the amazeballs-ness of PT is what we consider third best, holy shit. I have a love/hate/love relationship in my head with Ingram. He's worth his weight and salary, but when he screws up, he screws up. He's the guy that you don't ever count on to make a long run, but in those 3 and shorts or god forbid 4th and shorts, he's your man. He's the Sherman Tank of running backs whereas Robinson is our Maserati. PT should be equated to our BMW 3 series - tried and true, but doesn't do well in certain conditions and can really mess up your life if you're depending on it as your sole source of getting from point A to point B. Cadet is the Kawasaki Ninja motorcycle that you take out once in awhile and look super cool but have to be careful about overuse.
Colston, Toon, and Cooks are my fave wide recievers going on right now because they get shit done. That and the names Toon and Cooks are just kinda cool. These three guys are the football equivalent of Navy Seals crossing enemy lines and face-palming the defensive forces while they go America (Saints) all over everybody.
Drew Breesus (featured below) doing some sort of blessing/miracle-ing...
I have the faith that Breesus will find his receivers and running backs like inmates find Jesus in prison (it seems like they just always do). I also trust that as sure as my son is adorable (and that's pretty f-ing sure take a freakin' look):
that the Saints defense, led by Gandalf himself will stop any attempts by the Browns to make too many if any scores. All this being said, the dictator featured above is due to wake any moment now and I must make haste and by haste I mean his lunch before I have the baby version of a Chernobyl meltdown on my hands.
Geaux Saints and bless you boys - PS. It's been awhile, but I almost got in an serious argument with someone (the person's relationship to me may or may not rhyme with "Shmee-on-say") about the Saints being/meaning more than just football. The discussion ended well, so I can say that it was refreshing to know that I still feel the same way about the Saints. Had it not, due to pregnancy hormones, its possible I could have written this while finding Jesus....
In other news, it's important to first note that despite drafting someone who is okay with the name "Johnny Football", the Browns have been known to pull a few surprises with the Saints in the past few years. I think its because they have the same natural reaction that anyone does regarding the Cleveland Browns, that being, "Oh ok, should be an easy 60 minutes". And sometimes as we find out, people are wrong. They can win games. Against good teams. So its best not to underestimate their elven-like ways and go in knowing the enemy. The short, creepy, oddly named, pointy-shoed enemy....
Speaking of odd names, a roster review would produce a player who's first name is Barkevious. A Louisiana gentleman (explains the name) graduated from LSU and seems to be the only Barkevious google-able (at least for the first half page I scrolled down). He looks pretty diesel so I'm guessing we'll be seeing this guy make some plays. I look forward to hearing the announcers attempt to pronounce his name. Buuut I also look forward to Ingram and Colston getting past him so easily they could swear he prepped for a KY wrestling match and not an NFL football game. Josh Gordon won't be an issue since he got suspended by the Commish for 10 games regarding some drug use something or other. Shoulda just hit his girlfriend......He'd have been back in time for the game assuming that there wasn't video of it obtained by TMZ! Like I wish the Saints could have used the same excuse Goodell is using now which is basically the equivalent of the Clinton Defense of, "Evidence? I....I didn't know that existed, but now that I know that it does, my lack of knowledge of such evidence equates to be basically not knowing about this situation at all so..... here we are, lets move on and act like this never happened, I did the right thing eventually which should mean that I did the right thing in the first place, k thxbye, go America".
The QB sitch is a dude named Hoyer from Michigan State, no idea who he is. Second runner up is Manziel which according to Shenanihanigan Junior will only play if Hoyer gets injured. So that's the Browns.
Aaaand on to the Saints -
Our depth chart is freaking bonkers. For our running backs, we've got 4 deep - third in line is PT. THIRD. If the amazeballs-ness of PT is what we consider third best, holy shit. I have a love/hate/love relationship in my head with Ingram. He's worth his weight and salary, but when he screws up, he screws up. He's the guy that you don't ever count on to make a long run, but in those 3 and shorts or god forbid 4th and shorts, he's your man. He's the Sherman Tank of running backs whereas Robinson is our Maserati. PT should be equated to our BMW 3 series - tried and true, but doesn't do well in certain conditions and can really mess up your life if you're depending on it as your sole source of getting from point A to point B. Cadet is the Kawasaki Ninja motorcycle that you take out once in awhile and look super cool but have to be careful about overuse.
Colston, Toon, and Cooks are my fave wide recievers going on right now because they get shit done. That and the names Toon and Cooks are just kinda cool. These three guys are the football equivalent of Navy Seals crossing enemy lines and face-palming the defensive forces while they go America (Saints) all over everybody.
Drew Breesus (featured below) doing some sort of blessing/miracle-ing...
I have the faith that Breesus will find his receivers and running backs like inmates find Jesus in prison (it seems like they just always do). I also trust that as sure as my son is adorable (and that's pretty f-ing sure take a freakin' look):
that the Saints defense, led by Gandalf himself will stop any attempts by the Browns to make too many if any scores. All this being said, the dictator featured above is due to wake any moment now and I must make haste and by haste I mean his lunch before I have the baby version of a Chernobyl meltdown on my hands.
Geaux Saints and bless you boys - PS. It's been awhile, but I almost got in an serious argument with someone (the person's relationship to me may or may not rhyme with "Shmee-on-say") about the Saints being/meaning more than just football. The discussion ended well, so I can say that it was refreshing to know that I still feel the same way about the Saints. Had it not, due to pregnancy hormones, its possible I could have written this while finding Jesus....
Sunday, September 7, 2014
Its Gah-hay-hay-hay-hay-hay-hay-haymmmmmeeeee Daaaaaaaaaayyyy
(To be sung to the tune of the hallelujah in every thank-god moment you've ever had)
Lets just all take a moment and be happy about this. Welcome your kids to another or their first NFL Saints football season. Renew your hatred or love for your spouse/partner depending on your team affiliations, and block all of the people you are friends with on Facebook that somehow became Seahawks fans over the past two years.
So as per usual we're playing the Falcons for our season opener. This year its Atlanta's home field which I'm assuming they re-did because of all the bad juju the previous stadium had. I'm additionally sure that they'll find a way to blame it on New Orleans for standing on their bird and taking a picture center field. Another thing I'd be sure about is that Roger Goodell would find a way to fine us for it. And maybe suspend some players.
Anyway, lets talk about our peoples. Drew - I had the privilege of seeing you at training camp this year, and I like what you're putting down. Get out there, kick some ass, and show my son how football is played.
Hot Damn Jimmy Graham looked fierce at training camp and I admire his cajones to proceed to dunk the ball over the goal posts despite incurring the fine. As Peyton Manning said when he incurred the fine for smacktalkery earlier in the pre-season, "It was money well spent". I personally don't see why this is a fine and just consider it another way that Rog' is penalizing the Saints while fleecing them via the NFL. (Remember when they tried to trademark who dat?) Back to Jim - whatever position you feel the need to title yourself with, go for it, you're amazing at it. Make sure you face-palm Vilma (if he isn't injured, that is) for leaving and going to the dark side.
For our offense in general - I think we're going to be surprised in this game and I am interested to see who's going to make a name for themselves this afternoon. After what I will go forth calling, "The Meachem Curfuffle" I'm sure no one feels too secure in their jobs and will be playing to the highest caliber. Seriously though Saints - I'm 35.5 weeks pregnant and I don't need to be scared like that. I don't think the Saints are hurting for fans enough to induce labor to garner yet another fan. But I'm fairly certain that could have happened.
To our defense and Wizard Leader - if Vilma is playing, you know what to do. That's all I'm going to say to you.
In an attempt to expend some energy from myself and my son before the game, we're taking him to the Air and Space Museum to look at airplanes. This kid will not say mama, mom, or ma, but can articulate Oskar and Airplane relatively well for a one year old. I'm not sure whether I should be insulted or impressed. Either way, I hope that when we get back he'll be too tired to care that I'm yelling at the television, which we learned during the world cup scares the crap out of him.
Bless you boys and GEAUX SAINTS YAAAAAAAAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
HAPPY GAME DAY EVERYONE!
Lets just all take a moment and be happy about this. Welcome your kids to another or their first NFL Saints football season. Renew your hatred or love for your spouse/partner depending on your team affiliations, and block all of the people you are friends with on Facebook that somehow became Seahawks fans over the past two years.
So as per usual we're playing the Falcons for our season opener. This year its Atlanta's home field which I'm assuming they re-did because of all the bad juju the previous stadium had. I'm additionally sure that they'll find a way to blame it on New Orleans for standing on their bird and taking a picture center field. Another thing I'd be sure about is that Roger Goodell would find a way to fine us for it. And maybe suspend some players.
Anyway, lets talk about our peoples. Drew - I had the privilege of seeing you at training camp this year, and I like what you're putting down. Get out there, kick some ass, and show my son how football is played.
Hot Damn Jimmy Graham looked fierce at training camp and I admire his cajones to proceed to dunk the ball over the goal posts despite incurring the fine. As Peyton Manning said when he incurred the fine for smacktalkery earlier in the pre-season, "It was money well spent". I personally don't see why this is a fine and just consider it another way that Rog' is penalizing the Saints while fleecing them via the NFL. (Remember when they tried to trademark who dat?) Back to Jim - whatever position you feel the need to title yourself with, go for it, you're amazing at it. Make sure you face-palm Vilma (if he isn't injured, that is) for leaving and going to the dark side.
For our offense in general - I think we're going to be surprised in this game and I am interested to see who's going to make a name for themselves this afternoon. After what I will go forth calling, "The Meachem Curfuffle" I'm sure no one feels too secure in their jobs and will be playing to the highest caliber. Seriously though Saints - I'm 35.5 weeks pregnant and I don't need to be scared like that. I don't think the Saints are hurting for fans enough to induce labor to garner yet another fan. But I'm fairly certain that could have happened.
To our defense and Wizard Leader - if Vilma is playing, you know what to do. That's all I'm going to say to you.
In an attempt to expend some energy from myself and my son before the game, we're taking him to the Air and Space Museum to look at airplanes. This kid will not say mama, mom, or ma, but can articulate Oskar and Airplane relatively well for a one year old. I'm not sure whether I should be insulted or impressed. Either way, I hope that when we get back he'll be too tired to care that I'm yelling at the television, which we learned during the world cup scares the crap out of him.
Bless you boys and GEAUX SAINTS YAAAAAAAAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
HAPPY GAME DAY EVERYONE!
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