I've heard strange things about Dolphins....

It's true, every one of us has heard something weird about Dolphins.  You know what I'm talking about. 

Another weird fact: They're 3 - 0 as well this season.  Crazy...

Something that's a little cool about the Dolphins is that they have a guard named, "Incognito".  That's kind of awesome.  Not as awesome as Breesus, but I'm sure its the best that they can do.  Reggie Bush is no longer a Dolphin so we don't have that conflict of interest to worry about during game time.

Their schedule isn't very telling about whether or not they deserve to be a 3-0 team.  Atlanta is not off to a good start, and I'm not even going to address the Browns like they're an actual team.  The only team that gives me a bit of pause is the Colts, but I think that's some residual respect left over from the Superbowl game, which to be fair was an entirely different team than it is now. 

And lets take a minute to thank god that this game is on a Monday night.  For reasons that are beyond my reasoning ability, I slammed my finger in a car door and almost left it there.  This makes typing either very painful due to the bruising in my finger or thinking very difficult because of the Percocet in my brain.  That being said, I have a few things to say to my Saints -

Drew - I like your goal of scoring at least 40 points a game.  I'd like it even more if I were able to have you on my yahoo! fantasy team, but my love of the city of course overrides this and basically just go out there and do what you do. 

Jimbo - Thank Breesus you're on my team.  I need you to get me a lot of TD's.  You need to hold those balls tighter than a female primary care doctor who's going through a nasty divorce with a guy that her patient reminds her of and is about to ask them to cough. 

Colston - aka, the prodigal son.  Make us proud, not remorseful. 

Defense - You literally could not get any worse than last year.  There's no figure of speech about it.  Channel some of that Gregg Williams hunger for hurtin' and show Gandalf what you can do.  Speaking of which....

Gandalf (Our defensive coordinator)- nothing short of wizardry could have helped the Saints defense.  I applaud your efforts and support your witchcraft as long as it helps my Saints.  I would like to apologize in advance for any of my drunk friends (or myself) screaming, "Where's FRODO?!?!"/ "You shall not pass!" or asking  you any sort of question regarding, "One ring to rule them all", "the Shire",  the difference between midgets and Hobbits, and whether or not Gandalf has ever gotten laid. 

Someone is going to come out of this game with a 1 in the L column, and it better be the Dolphins.  Lets get reminiscent of 2009 boys!  After all, we should have two rings to rule them all.....

Bless you boys and GEAUX SAINTS!!!!!!!!

My son is ready to be a stand in for Breesus if needed.  Look how well he pulls it off....

2 and Oh?

So I've been remiss in my game commentary because I've recently come under the rule of a vicious dictator who rules this house with an iron fist and doesn't like to let me get on the internets too often....hard to believe he's already two weeks old.

(He's a cruel master but he's also the absolute love of my life)

 

The smile is coming from him knowing that he has complete and utter control over two formerly independent living adults....and 5 cats.

What he's also smiling about is that our Saints are 2-0.  And, if you ask Siri who the best team in the NFL is right now, she'll have you know that its the New Orleans Saints who are at the top.  What you wouldn't gather from her short informational schpeel is that New Orleans did not make it look pretty.  It was a goal line stand against Atlanta (this was probably for the best, make them bleed it out till the last minute) and a field goal kick against TB.  Both games heart stoppers for sure.

The upcoming game against the Cards is at home, which should prove to be a good game for the Saints.  Drew Brees (Praise Breesus) is most excellent at showing his fans a good time.  The Cards' aren't a bad team and shouldn't be under estimated.  However, I would like to take a moment and reflect on the 2009 playoff game against the Cardinals when Kurt Warner who for SOME reason thought it would be a good idea to act as a defender and got the brains knocked out of him by Will Smith (moment of reflection.......) And we're back. 

Tyrann Mathieu aka, (I shit you not) Honey Badger, is a Louisiana local as if you couldn't tell by the unnecessary vowels in his last name and that's about all that comes up when you google the upcoming match.  That and a bunch of stories about how this would be a great game for Arizona if they could win, but that's highly unlikely for them (ESPN's words, not mine, folks).

I think the feel good story of the day is about Robert Meachem.  He went off to San Diego and eventually found himself naked, jacking it on some street corner (see: South Park's KONY episode for reference).  Needless to say the Chargers cut him and the Saints being the SAINTS that they are, re-signed him.  God, what a tail between the legs conversation that must have been...Regardless, Meachem is an excellent part of our offense and I was sad to see him go, and happy to have him come back to the fold.  Hopefully he did some good recon in SD if we ever have to play them. 

Drew Brees (praise Breesus) has honed in his surgical skills and can run a two minute drill better than those dudes who are featured in the countless ED commercials during the game.  Drew - throw to the fleur de f-in lys (as Coach so eloquently phrases it) and not the red birds you see on the field.  FOr this, I thank you.  Defense - seriously how many times do I have to hear the commentators talk about how we were the WORST IN NFL HISTORY?  Can we PLEASE give them something else to talk about?  Like how many sack's AZ's QB took to the dome?  I want that man to think he was just at Southern Decadence (See: Gay Mardi Gras). 

Unfortunately that's all the time I have to comment on this game, I think the dictator is going to be waking up soon.  Geaux Saints and bless you boys!