Welcome to Atlanta where the players play....wait the games in NOLA -

Not to sound like I'm complaining, but prime time loves the Saints almost as much as I do. They insist upon giving Saints the late Sunday or Monday Night games so that the entire nation can watch whoever they happen to be playing. Today's the day we play our biggest rival (not as Tampa Bay fans would have you believe apparently) and we play them at home. I want this game to be reminiscent of our first game back home after Katrina. It was against Atlanta, and the blocked punt for a touchdown was probably one of the most inspiring moments in NFL history. Even the announcers who's job it is to talk couldn't and didn't want to say a thing. I hope the Saints take that same feeling with them onto the field today so we can kick Atlanta's ass.

The Falcons are 9-5 this season, and we need to beat them in order to win the division. We've already clinched a playoff spot so that's pretty sweet, but frankly, my Division Champions screen saver is from 2009 and I'd like to update it. I've talked a lot of shit about Atlanta in previous posts so its almost to the point where anything I say at this point is redundant. On Atlanta's NFL team page, there's an article titled, "Slowing Saints is the Key, Not Stopping Them". You can't even muster enough confidence to say you need to stop us? Its like, "well, lets not get unrealistic here..." And that was their coach that said that! Sure, they've already gotten a playoff spot too so this game is really for pride and for higher seeding for the Saints in our playoff run. Matty "the shittiest beer ever" Ice may or may not to give it his all this game. Who knows if Turner and White will decide to show up either. I do hope that even though the Falcons are terrible people and I question their abilities on a daily basis, that no one gets hurt this late in the season and screws up the playoffs.

Now on to my Saints....I like that Ivory is back in the game. He's been playing amazingly well, and I hope he gets a touchdown tonight. Ingrahm has been pretty impressive as well. And can we talk about Saint Jimmy Graham??? He gave two tickets to these two kids who made a song about going to a Saints game. This just adds to the reason why I love the Saints, because they do stuff like this. Aside from his ability to play through back spasms and get us yards and TD's, he has a hilarious selection in t-shirts and he appreciates the fans. Saint Drew will be the King of New Orleans for the foreseeable future. He is set to break Marino's record this game, and I hope that I get to see that tonight. I've seen significant progress in Saint Brees and by that I mean he's been holding on to the ball and not been making rushed passes that end up in the hands of the other team. Hopefully this lovely trend continues. My sister forwarded me an article that deserves to be read, I think the author might love Brees just as much as I do.... http://nbcsports.msnbc.com/id/45768359/ns/sports-nfl/ .

All I can say to the author is remember, Saint Brees is a married man.

Saint's defense did an excellent job against Minnesota last week, and I'd like to ask that they keep it going this week. No doubt Gregg Williams has been in his lair of extraordinary defensive genius moves creating god knows what coverage for Matty "you make me want to throw up" Ice and his offense. I hope Jenkins, Harper, and Greer have an appetite for poultry to be taken out on these dirty birds.

My dear Saints, I couldn't be prouder to be a Saints fan both because of your on the field and off the field activities. I have yet to meet a Saints fan that doesn't welcome other people on the bandwagon. Granted in New Orleans, I think its called a parade float instead of a bandwagon, and who the hell doesn't want to be on one of those?!? The love affair that exists between the city and the team is one that has the ability to make any Saints fan just smile thinking about the team. I sometimes feel bad for fans of other teams who don't have this, because its so amazing. Its no secret how much I love the Saints, and I believe it probably sticks out this far north because Saints fans are fewer and farther in between up here. But go to the city, and see that everyone loves the Saints as much as I do, if not more. I love my city, I love my team, and bless you boys. GEAUX SAINTS!!!!!!! (God I hate Atlanta - sorry I just needed to say that.)

No one can say 'Minnesota' without imagining it said with an accent

Its the exact same phenomena that happens when you hum the first part of "Final Countdown", anyone in ear shot, including yourself, has to - HAS TO either silently or audibly hum the second part. Its a documented fact. Look it up on Wikipedia, I'm sure they have an article about it;)

The Saints and the Vikings have had a relatively interesting near past. The Vikings have been a team that's been slowly imploding for the past 2 or 3 seasons. When they got Favre...that was the nail in their coffin. And his too if you remember the 2009 NFC Championship game (Sorry 'bout the ankle buddy but you were asking for it). Im sure the Vikings wish they would have known that at the time instead of sending some guys down there to "persuade" Brett to come back and ruin yet another season of theirs.

It's my understanding that McNabb was released awhile ago. As to why he was signed in the first place I don't know. If you're a veteran QB and can't pull it together for the Redskins, its just not going to happen for you anywhere else. And you would THINK that Minnesota would have learned their lesson from signing the aged Favre....nope. Wrong. They went ahead and were like, "Yes. This is completely logical and fiscally appropriate. Let's do this." So I had to go looking for their new QB.....Ok first of all the starter is a dude who's last name is Ponder. There are so many jokes that I can't even make one because that would be the entire post. Ponder-ing about jokes aside (pun TOTALLY intended), their third stringer is a guy who's first name is Sage. Yup. Sage. Like an herb. Or smart guy. I kiiiiind of want to start a, "Put The Sage In!" movement just because it sounds hilarious, and you know there are going to be people who are going to get confused about whether or not its a guy or spice.

I do have a concern about this team though, and it comes in the form of Adrian Peterson. He's in this week, and if Ponder spent any time Ponder-ing (intended that one too) about the Saints defense, he'll know that getting the ball to Peterson will be their most likely chance of scoring. He's been rather injury prone this year so I guess we'll see if our guys can get to him.

My Saints....my dear Saints. Thanks for the playoff spot, that's nice of you (And the Bears - Erika, looking in your direction, ALMOST makes up for that BS game in 2006 but not really). Harper and Jenkins, I'd like to request that you take out the first two QB's so my, "Put The Sage in!" movement can take off. That'd be sort of awesome. Ellis, I haven't seen too many most excellent plays from you and frankly, I'd like that to change. I'm not one to spread rumors, but Im fairly certain that I heard Adrian Peterson talk some shit about your kids. Something about....being Atlanta fans? Im happy to see Vilma in after his knee injury, Vilma's my fave (on defense). Drew, I like how you're starting to make the decision to hold on to the ball instead of getting a grounding penalty or worse, an interception. Not only has that helped my fantasy team, but its been nice to see as a fan. It was a damn shame last week that little guy couldnt have his return count as a touchdown. Let's let him have one this game. He's so little I just want to pick him up and put him in my pocket. Jimmy - hope the back is alright, muscle spasms are the worst so...hope that's better and you can go dunk footballs over the goal posts ater you score a TD (or four, just sayin').

As our regular season draws to a close, I'd like to thank you guys or another great season. I look forward to the playoffs and the rest of the season. Bless you boys and GEAUX Saints!!

A Titan-ic Game...

There are four things I can remember about the Tennessee Titans. First of which being my friend Max is a fan of them. Second is that they used to be the Houston Oilers, which is a terrible name for a team and it was a good change. Third, the head coach is my friend's uncle. Fourth, these jerks beat us in a pre-season game. Other than that, I have no idea who these guys are. Whenever I don't know much about a team that I'm going to talk trash about, I have to google search them. I've had good results with these searches, as evidenced by the article titled, "A LeStar is born" that included the whole name debacle that I laughed about for about a week. According to their depth charts, their go-to QB is Matt Hasselbeck. I hate this guy. How low do you have to feel about yourself if you get the boot from Seattle? That's like being in remedial reading class and being given a pictures-only book because you juuuust can't get the hang of it and the teacher doesn't even want to bother trying. Now yes, last year Seattle did beat the Saints in the play-offs, but it sure wasn't because of the efforts of one Matt Hasselbunny. The Saints lost that game more than the Seahawks won it. No sense in getting stuck in the past though.

Giving a further review to their depth chart, they've got an acceptable team. I feel like this might be another throwing game for Breesus, lets hope he keeps it to the boys in black instead of throwing a pick 6-er to the boys in blue. I'm not seeing anything fantastical about their team, unless there's some guy on there that I'm missing....They're 7-5 and looking at their schedule, they won a game against Atlanta with their QB having the leading amount of rushing yards at the amazing total of 17. I mean seriously? You left the run game to the QB? And they won a game against Buffalo with Hasselbizz only throwing for 140 yards. I know its Buffalo but really? 140? Brees has thrown for more yards in his sleep. I'VE thrown for more yards. So looking at their W's they don't seem all that impressive except for the one against Baltimore. And that was week 2 so the teams were all still getting in the groove of things after the lockout. Hasselballs is highly inconsistent looking at his stats so it'll be interesting to see who shows up to the game.

The Saints on the other hand....I wish Drew would somehow psych himself out to think that every play they were under pressure for a game winning play. Because when he's lax, they make mistakes and drop balls or have interceptions. When its do or die time, he's unstoppable. Pair that with ol' Sprole-skies and Jimmy Graham and thats 14 points right there. Easily. Lets not have a repeat of the pre-season game against these guys. Pre-season games generally don't mean much, so lets show them in the real season how well we can kick their ass. Lets have a few TDs by colston, maybe a few by Spoliolio too. Bless you boys and GEAUX SAINTS!!!

You're A Lion SOB....

So the game was orignially supposed to be at 1 (or noon central), but because the Saints are so awesome and the Detroit Lions continue to confuse people, they moved the game to prime time. I'm perfectly fine with this development. As part of the diaspora Saints fans, it means I don't have to watch it on my computer and have a heart attack when the feed gets messed up.

Now this Suh guy....I haven't been able to figure out whether or not he is playing, he's appealing the decision by the NFL to suspend him for two games for STOMPING ON SOMEONES RIB CAGE after mind you, after he smashed that guys head into the ground a few times. So I don't know if that gives him the ability to play or what the deal is. Either way, I hope this guy doesn't play. Not because I dont think our lines can handle him, but because he's a bad example of a pro football player and what we should expect. Call it a job, a career, a calling, a profession or whatever. But at the end of the day it's an f-ing GAME and you should never actively try and hurt someone like that. That shit is not cool. And call it karma all you want about him getting into a car accident, but even as a Saints fan, I don't wish the man harm and I'm glad he's okay. But all that aside, that guy's a dick. And I would have no problem if Harper hit him so hard that HE bounced off the ground.
Stafford is one of the most dedicated QB's I've seen in the league in a long time (Aside from Breesus). Problem is though that his finger is injured and the Saints can smell weakness like a shark smells a drop of blood in water during Shark Week. So he might want to be careful. I don't know if he's aware of Gregg Williams, but Gregg's a sick mofo who can be diabolical when it comes to spotting weakess and exploiting it. Peyton's still on crutches, and I think he brings about four sets because I'm fairly certain he throws them at the line refs instead of challenge flags now. I mean, you can't get mad at a dude on crutches right? Especially those bionic looking crutches that he has. Our offensive line is going to have their work cut out for them as the Lion SOB's defense is rather impressive.

Brees, no interceptions today PLEASE. Let's see some more superman action like we saw last week. I need all of my recievers to get creative with it today and go out there and work these Lions like you're Romans in the Coliseum. Harper, these guys are tough so you can just go all out on them if you want. I know they're saying its a short week for the Saints...but to be honest, we really only played the Giants for the first two quarters and then were just kind of playing around after that, so its not THAT short of a week. And they're both at home, so theres no travel time that we have to account for. Graham, I would like to see several TD's followed by several dunking of the footballs over the goal post. It reminds us all that you're a basketball player too and we could use you on the Hornets should the need arise. Sprolio - go run your little heart out. I love the camera shots that highlight how short you are compared to an actual NFL football player. It reminds me of how I feel EVERYDAY.

The interesting thing about this game that should be noted is that these are both two cities that have relied on their football teams to get them through hard times. Now the Saints have done a bit better of a job than the Lions have over the past few years, but the Lions had a good run earlier this year. I hope that the Lions and the city of Detroit can find the same thing that the Saints and New Orleans have in each other and build from there. As a New Orleanian by heart, I can't not want that for them (sorry to all my Enligh major friends for the double negative).

Bless you boys and Geaux Saints!!!!!!!!!!!!!

A Giant Turd on Your Shoe...

You know that, "eeew gross, goddammit!" Feeling you get when you step on a figurative "landmine". Sometimes that's what I think Eli feels other peoples' reaction to finding out he's the Manning they're slated to meet instead of Archie or Peyton. I'm sure even some of his fans have felt that way considering his inconsistent appearances at games. As a son of New Orleans there isn't much personal I can say about the man. But I can suggest that Jenkins, Casillas, Ellis, Sharper and Harper remind him about how we do things in the Big Easy, meaning getting knocked on your ass. Granted in Nola its usually because we're wasted and not getting tackled by a D line, but hey- anything could happen in that city, that's for damn sure.

Drew, don't throw to the boys in blue (or white and blue I'm not sure of the color scheme today). Colston has been waiting for another multiple TD game, so why don't you give him an early christmas present? Ingrahm, maybe a rush TD or two? I want you and Sproles running faster than the Kenyans at the Olympics. Jimbo Graham.....you earned your spot from Shockey, who was a former Giant. I want you to have the same, "I'm either going to kill you or take away your ability to walk" look and passion in your game today that he brought to the 2009 game against the Giants. I personally thought all New Orleanians were going to have to band forces and funding and bail him out of jail that night.

You Saints are so incredible. The NFL loves to showcase you as one of their most interesting teams to watch. That's why we've started the season 3 out of the last 5 years. Thats why we get a lot of MNF games. And that's why I can be sitting in my car, an hour early for my new job, typing up this post and just smile thinking about the New Orleans Saints. In the spirit of Thanksgiving, I will say that I am thankful for all that you have done for the city, all the charity work and the goodwill that you bring to the city, and from it to other places. Yes, Harper almost killed that guy one time and Hartley needs to lay off the booze a bit during the off season. But everytime people think of the Saints there's rarely if ever anything bad to say about them or their character. That's because of you guys and how you brought a city that was on its last breath back to life. And for that, I am forever indebted and thankful. Geaux Saints and bless you boys!!!!!!!!

Bye weeks are so conflicting

On one hand, the Saints aren't playing so it feels like a wasted weekend. On the other hand, I dont have to worry about having a heart attack and can relax a bit watching games that I have minimal investment in. So its a wash. I guess this weekend we can take a look at potential play off opponents, since I read that the NFC South was, "the Saints' to lose". So that's pretty cool.

Teams of interest this weekend:
The Buffalo Bills - Fitzpatrick is my back up QB so thats really why I care about this team. Also, they were doing pretty well in the beginning of the season and now I feel like they've floundered a little bit. This is the same guy that wears his wedding ring while playing football. I know that as a female I'm supposed to find this endearing, but I find it stupid and if I were his spouse I'd yell at him because he's essentially putting their financial stability in jeopardy if he breaks his finger which wearing a ring while playing a contact sport is more likely to do. And thats more jeopardy than if he just took his ring off for two hours while he was running around with a bunch of dudes, risking that some chick would see him on TV and be looking for a ring on his finger being like, "I mean, I didn't see a ring so I'm totally going to try and hit that". Ridiculous.

Redskins/Cowboys - This is a divisional game so its interesting. Plus I'm in/from DC so its double interesting because I dont even have to watch the game but just monitor my Facebook feed and get more updates on the game than if I were actually watching the game. The Redskins have this amazing power over their fans to bring them to such heights only to let them down so amazingly. I blame a lot of it on Dan Snyder, the owner. But a lot of it has to do with the team itself. The skins are plagued with injuries to its key players because their key players were their only players and so they got hurt. Its terrible. The Cowboys are the team that people love to hate. I don't really care for them one way or the other, but I super hate Jerry Jones. What he did to those Green Bay fans during the superbowl is unforgiveable (For reference, they sold more seats than they had, got some pull out chairs, but then Dallas had that major snow, and I guess Jer thought the snow would melt, it didnt, and so he was like ooh my badskies you guys did travel hundreds of miles but you cant come in.)

Kansas City/Patriots - Im interested in this game because while one would think its going to be a blowout for the Pats, the Chiefs aren't necessarily a bad team. They havent been great the past few games though thats true. I hope Brady has Gronkowski to get some TD's because I'm going up against #2 in my fantasy team and we have the same record so I need to beat her in order to maintain my top spot. I'm doubtful it'll happen though, I was very unprepared for this weekend's matchup. Hopefully Eli will have a terrible game.

Giants/Philly - I hate Michael Vick, I really do, so I hope he loses all the time. But I also really need the Giants to do poorly. So I'm conflicted over this game. If there was some way for both of these teams to do badly, I would be quite elated. So that's all I have to say about that.

Alright well it's game time! Rest up my dear Saints, have a good weekend and a happy Thanksgiving! Bless you boys and Geaux Saints!

Didn't we used to hate Atlanta the most?

I'm still baffled by this apparent rivalry between Tampa Bay and New Orleans. I am happy that Harper didn't kill a man last week though. I thought we always hated Atlanta the most and the other two teams were just kind of there. This week we have another divisional game which will prove to be an interesting one. I hate Atlanta. I hate them so much. And to testify to some of these reasons, I'm making a list.

TOP 10 REASONS WHY I HATE ATLANTA:
1.) Naming your QB after a shitty beer is ridiculous. Matty Ice? Really? Does it cost 8.99 for 6 identical copies of him that make you want to throw up the next day? I submit that only one copy of him should make you nauseous enough to ralph.
2.) Their coach does in fact look like a falcon. Take a look, I've included a link for those who cannot immediately recall this man's bird-like face: http://www.zimbio.com/pictures/VoUuHHubVPq/Atlanta+Falcons+v+New+England+Patriots/yOVF9O5vqcN/Mike+Smith
3.) They call their city, "HotLanta"
4.) They are previous employers of Michael Vick (they get points on this one however, because they booted his ass).
5.) Their airport. (Everyone who's been to this airport just nodded their heads and said, "Yup, I know thats right".
6.) At this current time, they're closer to New Orleans than I am. I think thats a viable reason to hate them.
7.) I don't know exactly why, but I think the Falcons' uniforms look ridiculous.
8.) They have someone on their team named "Roddy"
9.) I take issue with their southern style food, as I find it sub-par at best. Granted, coming from a city such as New Orleans that will probably be the case more often than not culinary-wise.
10.) According to the first result from google when you type in "I hate Atlanta, GA", they actually refer to themselves as, "the ATL". (shake my head)

And those are the reasons why I can't stand Atlanta. Some has to do with football, some started with football and became personal, and others realistically had nothing to do with football and just counts as me being petty.

Now Saints, I expect a good showing out of you today. Harper, again I ask of you not to incur unnecessary penalties (wink - "necessary" will be left to your discretion). Will someone please take out "Matty Ice" and scream, "WE DRINK ABITA DAMMIT!" when you sack him? Because that would be really funny. Graham, you met my friend TJ the other week after your game, you have a hilarious taste in shirts, and your skills with the football are incredible, lets keep that going. Drew....do NOT throw it to the other team. If you can't find an option, either throw it away or take the sack. Losing 10 yards is always better than just giving the team the ball, unless its 4th down and it'd be bad field positioning, then I understand. Either way, its going to be a good game and I hope you boys do an excellent job embarrassing the Falcons...because I hate them so....so very much. Geaux Saints and bless you boys!!

Buc Off....

So we're fresh off a loss to SAINT LOUIS....that is as weird to write as it is to say or think. Anyway, the Saints need a W here not only for morale but for divisional purposes as well. Drew, its gotten to the point where we can pretty much bet that somehow, you're going to give the ball to the other team. It sucks, but throwing as much as you do I guess thats bound to happen. Can we maybe throw them a ball that's been sat on or otherwise made contact with the nether-regions of some nasty people so that they get a little tummy flu and cant play? I mean thats the best scenario I can come up with. Make sure you bring purell if you're going to do that though. And also, I started Colston for my fantasy team so I'm going to need you to utilize him ALOT. Moore, you're good for yards and points, lets see some more of that this game, yes?

I need to talk to the defense for a minute here, specifically Roman Harper. Listen dude, you're an awesome player, but your personal fouls are costing us at LEAST 30 yards per game. Yes, that guy in the last match up deserved that late hit for his little show off TD, but you hit him so hard he bounced off the ground. He bounced, Roman. No one should bounce off of the ground, thats just not right. Next time make it a legal hit like Will Smith did to Kurt Warner in that playoff game. Kurt got stupid after that game, you remember that? All he could do was say his name and join dancing with the stars. And as for the rest of you, you could take a page out of Harper's book and start getting some good (CLEAN) hits on folks.

Josh Freeman needs to get sacked more times than the first guy to pass out with his shoes on at a frat party. Jenkins, I expect a pick 6 from you. Sproles, I expect a return for a TD from you. They shouldnt even see you coming you're so short. Okay? My 8 year old cat Beaux is taller than you when he stands up on his two back legs. Granted he's a big cat but still, you get my point. Anyway....I see you are wearing the throwback Jerseys today. I don't know how I feel about this. I think that throwback Jerseys should be used when remembering the good old days, which for us, was 2009-2010. We don't have such an awesome beginning. But we have an awesome now, and thats what counts. Geaux Saints, and bless you boys.

Go get 'em.

Oh St. Louis....

Its hard to kick a horse when it's down, especially 0-6 down. At least their baseball team won the world series, at least they have that. And beer, I think they have a lot of beer there too. Does anyone know if Sam Bradford is even playing? The last two Sundays have been a kick in the pants for me so I have failed to show support for my team. But as per usual, my team didnt fail to show support for their city. Scoring a team record of 62 points, and personally winning me last week's fantasy match up, the Saints really pulled through.
Ingrahm is out this game and thats cool, rest up. We'll hand the ball off to any of like seven other people that can run the ball. Most likely it will be Sproles. I wish I could be more creative this week but I'm still in mental recovery. If Drew Brees could take some time out to do some brain surgery on me and re-wire some shit that'd be awesome. Although I feel that asking that would be too much considering he is my fantasy quarterback too. But if he has a minute, that'd be awesome. Casillas has been consistently making moves and making plays, which I seriously appreciate. Ellis, if you're not careful, Casillas will get all the cookies. Im just saying. Between him and Vilma....you better start pulling your weight, which we can agree is a lot but you need to start carrying more of it.
Drew, you're good for several TDs per game, but you're also good for a few interceptions per game. Seriously, you're throwing the ball too much. Just because you have the ball in your hands does not mean you have to throw it to SOMEONE. I'm fairly certain the ninth canto of hell for you would be footballs superglued to your hands with just a bunch of wide recievers running around down field. The ninth canto of hell for me would be watching you unable to complete passes and just throwing to the other team all the time. Anyway, just keep it to Graham, Henderson, Colston, Porter, or any of the seventeen other people you can use to run up the numbers.

I thank you Saints. Geaux Saints, and Bless you boys.

I have three panthers at home who can play better than Carolina

I'm talking of course about my three black cats. The youngest of which (8 weeks old) had to go to the Kitty ER last night due to hurting his leg and limping off the field (out of the kitchen). Luckily it was just a soft tissue bruise and he's listed as probable on our injury report.

Personal business aside, Carolina isn't that terrible of a team. Cam is actually getting paid above board in his new job(who knew), and has been throwing really well. So, this is where Harper and Sharper and Jenkins (oh my!) can shine because they super heart pick 6'es, they heart them more than people get weirded out by the lesbians that look like Justin Beiber website. (For reference: http://lesbianswholooklikejustinbieber.tumblr.com/)

Vilma, you should know that during his college career, Cam Newton got paid more than you (not that you got paid (*cough* Nevin Shapiro) and he said that it was because you were a sub-par player. You and Casillas, who's been a shining star recently should show him the error of his ways. Plus, you didnt need your dad to broker deals for you. So, unless Cam's dad is on the field negotiating how hard you're going to sack this SOB, its free reign and feel free to take him down more times than Shapiro arranged for "women of the night" to take you and your buddies down...town. Shockey is going to be a potential threat just like Fujita was last year when we played the Browns. The good thing here is that this guy is injury prone and looks like he's mentally unstable, so taking a few shots at his family might throw him off and cause a fumble. (The Saints keep trading some of my top favorite players, its really sad)

Brees, its a documented fact that you dont blink when you have the ball in your hands. I've seen the tape review. No mas interceptions por favor. Just throw it to your boys on the side lines if theres no viable option. If Henderson, Graham, Colston, Sproles, Ingrahm, Meachem, or PT or seven other dudes that have scored on our team aren't open, which I doubt a scenario would occur in which this would be the case, just throw it away, not to another player potentially in a Carolina Jersey.

That being said, Sproles, I have an 8 week old kitten here (previously referenced as probable on the injury report) that we've kindly named Oskar Sproles, (aka K2) because he's a little man that can f-ing move quick, and consistently runs under the legs of our other larger cats, Beaux and Felix. Plus we frequently find ourselves saying the same thing to him that we do about you, such as, "Aww....look at that little guy go!" or, "Damn! That little guy can run!" Make us proud that we've added your name to his.

Geaux Saints, and Bless you Boys!!!!!!

Lambeau sounds like a Cajun name anyway

It's finally game day!! I've been waiting for this since earlier this year! Drew should be healthy from his knee injury that some how effected his eyes and recognition skills as to who was on his team by causing him to throw it to someone else, consequently who was not on his team. That being said, he's completed his most recent rotation in surgery and should be back to the O.R. at Lambeau field tonight circa 8pm to perform an orchiectomy (look it up) on the Packers.

Tonight's the night we get to see what Ingraham is going to do, Sproles, our new Reggie Bush without the drama (hopefully), and our regular line up consisting of Meachem, PT, Graham, Colston, and Henderson have hopefully taken lessons from the Chinese and will create fireworks out there.

As for Green Bay.....they get to unfold their Superbowl flag tonight so good for them. Aaron Rodgers, I mean you're alright, but theres a reason why I passed on you as my fantasy QB. You had an average at best regular season. To whoever that dude is that has the long blonde hair on your team, I have a hair tie around my wrist at all times. You should too dude. Side bar, that look is for Steeler's badass Pamalalalou (sp?). I mean its all stringy by the end of the game, too. How do you still have hair after you brush it? If I were one of the Saints tonight and saw you running at me, I'd be like, who let the butch chick suit up? Not that you look like a female but your hair def. does....just saying....

For the third time in five years, the NFL wants the Saints to open the season. I consider this to be a most excellent honor and a nod to a team that has captured the prolonged attenion of a nation well known for its Attention Deficit Disorder. Bless you boys and go get us a W

Against the Raiders.

That game against the Texans was rough. But I'd rather us lose a pre-season game and not get injured (See: Washington Redskins Jarvis Jenkins [ACL tear]and everyone's first pick in fantasy football drafts this year Arian Foster[hamstring]).

Drew needs to make sure that he's getting in tune with his recievers. I mean, in the game against the Texans, it was like he didnt even know those guys. Back in the 2009-2010 season, he could have given you all probably seventeen of his receivers' names, birth dates, mom's names, favorite foods, and whether or not they found the "ambi-turner" joke in Zoolander funny. The game against the Texans had me wondering if he even knew their social security numbers by heart. And I hold him up to this standard because he holds himself to that same standard, probably higher. All that aside, we're coming off a training camp in Oxnard so we don't have to adjust to the time zone and weather, so I think we should be good to go. I think that Drew should have gotten some time to run over some game plans and really get to know his peoples. Now the defense....Gregg, I understand you dont want anyone hurt during the pre-season, neither do I. But for the love of Christ dude, the Texan defense was running through us like the Skins go through coaches.
So against Oakland - dont get anybody hurt but jeez....let Ellis eat one of them at least. I know he's hungry, look at the size of that man. He must be. And someone let Porter get an interception please? As a resident of Washington, D.C. I know a bit about this Campbell fellow who's QB'ing for the Raiders, and if he's anything like he was when he was a Skin, he'll throw an interception or three. The only question I have about the Raiders is, is Al Davis alive or is this some sort of sick Weekend At Bernie's thing thats gone on way too long?

My money is on Weekend At Bernie's.

On the advent of the day that Katrina ravaged our city, Saints, please send a W our way. If you can't, or to do so would be to risk injury, then don't worry about it - we'll get one against Green Bay in a week and a half. And every day that someone says the name, "New Orleans" with a smile on their face is a W for New Orleans. You boys did a lot of work in keeping that happening. Thank you for that, and bless you boys.

Game day post - Against people who call themselves Texans, but not people who are necessarily from Texas...

Well after watching the Saints play last week I feel more informed about what kind of team at least our starters and second stringers will be. Mr. Daniel did pretty excellent as back up quarterback. He's clearly learning something from Drew "TrustmeImasurgeon" Brees. Morgan, who's an UNDRAFTED rookie seems like he's the quintessential Saint that Coach always finds, needs, and uses during the regular season that wins us games. Gregg Williams has clearly been doing work with our defense and improving their looks as well. Or the 49'ers just suck that badly, which unfortunately for us and the 49'ers is not that difficult to believe as a possibility (See: 49'ers last season). Because the preseason is all about exhibition in an above-board definition of the word, I'm not going to wish too many specific Saints to do too many things as I want us to kick the crap out of Green Bay in our first regular season game. And an aside about that, why are the Saints playing the first game of the season against Green Bay? When the Saints won the superbowl everyone made a big deal about the first game of the season being played against the superbowl champion and the team that they beat in the conference championship to go to the big game. Dont get me wrong, Im proud of the Saints and think its pretty baller that the NFL wants the New Orleans Saints up front and center, but shouldn't the opponent of last years Superbowl champs be some team that they beat in the playoffs that was a good game or something? Whatever, Im just confused about that.

Either way, so the opponents today are the Houston Texans, a team I know so little about I had to google search them. Before this search, the only opinion I had about the Texans were that I thought their team name was pretty presumtuous about the state of Texas, like did they think they were the only actual "Texans" or what? And that doesnt even make sense because most of them were drafted from out of state anyway (this is the mind of someone with too much time on a Saturday morning and ADHD). I take that back. The only thing I knew about them was that their QB was Matt (or maybe Mike) Schaub that Tom drafted last year for his fantasy team who turned out to be a red-headed stepchild of a disappointment for Tom's team and fantasy scores as a whole. But boy am I glad I looked them up... because the team has some gems that need to be reviewed. And I mean that semi-literally. FIRST OF ALL, their website is incredibly slow and annoyed the hell out of me. It took me several minutes to review what is called their "roof report" against their game with the Saints, which I should have known, was going to be a literal report about the status and conditions of their freaking roof at the Texan's stadium. I was thinking it was just a term their franchise used to talk about their strengths and such against the opposing team. Wrong.

SECOND OF ALL, and I have to have this be the piece de resistance of this post, they have a dude on their team called "Lestar". You read that completely right. Even though the website is slow, I have to link this article. It is the most hilarious thing I have ever read and before someone gets offended, let me explain myself and you read the article.

http://www.houstontexans.com/news/article-3/A-Lestar-Jean-is-born/bb437a53-8ce5-4628-9ff6-2543889a8bdf

Read it? Okay so if you have to re-do your child's birth certificate not once, but twice because people just couldnt possibly believe that you named your child "Lestar" and intended for it to be pronounced, "le - STAR", then that should have been two hints that maybe you should have named him after your grandfather. And you're just leaving that child wide open for comments like, "Le-lick my balls capitan" (Zoolander pull) and leaving him open to titles on the Texans website like "A Lestar is born". Really? After reading the title it took me about 5 minutes to compose myself and an additional 5 minutes to read laughingly through the rest of the article.

So its game time come 8pm EST, and I say good luck to the Saints, lets see what you can do but don't hurt yourselves. Geaux Saints, and bless you boys:)

Pre-Game Day Post

I've been waiting so long for this. And not easily either, considering that snafu of a lockout we had. But that is all said and done so no sense harping on it. The main point is that the Saints are back!!!!!!!!

I think its appropriate to address that we've had some losses, most importantly to me Jeremy Shockey (god he looks so unstable its almost charming in a maladaptive way), and Reggie Bush (had a great time making jokes at your last name's expense when you got traded to Miami). Im still kind of upset about Fujita going to the Browns last year, but thats mostly because I find his last name to be fantastic.


We still have Saint Brees, which is awesome because he's the best. Its that simple. And we still have Harper and Sharper and Porter (oh my), the three of whom just embarrass the opposition. We have Saint PT back, thank GOD, do me a favor and don't get hurt this year, Brees has like 17 different Saints to score points with and you're one of my faves. Saint Ellis, known for his ability to make opposite QB's lose ten IQ points a game due to sacks just as much as for his (Im assuming) ability to take out an entire sleeve of chipsahoy cookies in one bite, will be heading up our D line.

We've had some amazing gains - Sean Payton rivaled Steven Hawking's genius this year in the draft, and although Im sure it wasnt just Coach, thats who Im giving all the credit to. Ingraham - you've been drafted to be Reggie Bush, but better. Without the hype, publicity, and ridiculous (now) ex-girlfriend that the cameras would annoyingly pan to during time outs in the game. I formally request that you keep a safe distance from the celebutard girls as they will only cause your career to suck and not be as awesome as you were in college, letting us all down and making puppies cry. Trust me, I've seen it happen. Then theres Saint Cam Jordan and Saint Greg Romeus who've been added to our Defensive line. Greg Williams does NOT fuck around guys, get ready. If you dont run through the 49'ers like an NBA player at SCORES you've screwed up.

As far as game day posts go, I've got to see their work in order to fully talk shit or give praise, so this is more of an introduction of who I think the star newbies are, as well as saying peace out to some crucial Saints (Shockey is so weirdly goodlooking it creeps me out, and Reg was essential in our Superbowl win as much as everyone (me) criticizes his personal life), as well as saying welcome back to our amazingly wonderful Saints, who are the heart and soul of a city that is my heart and soul, my beautiful New Orleans! I AM SO READY FOR THIS GAME!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (even though its preseason)And Bless you boys!